Being in London for about a month now, I decided to do a post about the basics I have learned during my short stay...
First, and most important I will touch upon a subject the British hold dear: The weather. My most import piece of advice is to carry an umbrella with you at ALL times (ALL, dear people, means every single day that goes by, not just the gloomy, cloudy days, but every single time you decide to leave your house) because it has come to my attention that the rain in London is not sympathetic to the fact that your jacket doesn't have a hoodie, that you did your hair in the morning or that you decided to wear ballet flats instead of rubber boots. Simply said, if you don't carry an umbrella with you, you're pretty much fucked and possibly with a bad case of pneumonia.
Also, and this goes especially to my dear relatives, please don't call and ask me what clothes to pack! First off because technology has actually evolved to the point where a click of a button can give you a 7-day forecast of the weather in Reykjavyk, and second because you need to pack pretty much all of your clothes. The weather here is a shady little twat, the day might start off all clear skied and sunny, and end with you getting gangrene due to excessive cold and rain.
Now, let me get into another everyday-practical thing. If you plan to use the underground (a.k.a. the Tube) you can get around London pretty quickly, avoiding the uber-exprensive taxis. You may of course happen to bump into a bomb-carrying kamikaze, but that's all a matter of luck. So, if you're a daredevil, like me, willing to risk your life to save a couple of pounds and minutes, be warned: the tube spans throughout central and greater London with 13 lines in operation - well, at least most of the time, since quite often your journey will be cut short if a line is not in operation, or long if a line operates with major delays (major being the keyword).
Note that a few tube stations only have elevators that take you to the exit. These elevators can get a pretty long, huge queue that might make you think that you will spend the rest of your days standing there surrounded by a bunch of strangers. But please, under no circumstances try to use the emergency stairs thinking that it's a piece of cake. Most often "emergency staircase" means 190 step, spiral ascend to hell, and especially if you are a smoker, such an ascend will most probably leave you with a heart attack, stroke, and low self esteem, given that the old lady carrying Tesco bags climbs it faster that you.
Finally, seating/ standing arrangement is the most crucial fact of your journey while in the tube. If you find a seat, you are one lucky bastard and all your problems are pretty much solved. But, if all the seats are occupied, obviously you will have to stand. My advice:
At all costs, avoid standing next to groups of girls aged 13-17 (whether chavs or more posh looking), trust me on this and your eardrum and brain cells will be thankful for life. Also avoid standing close to families with little kids, because "LOOK mommy, I wiped my booger on the nice lady's sweater!" is not a sentence you ever want to hear in your life. Finally, try to avoid anyone in gym shorts, trainers or even holding a gym bag, because you don't want your face bumping into someones sweaty armpit at an unexpected stop.
So, I covered 2 basic parts of my everyday London experience - the weather and the tube. Expect more cultural and social facts on the next post.
Adieu.
