This Year I Will..

Yeap, it's that time of year. The time where everyone decides that it's time to stop smoking, go to the gym, lose weight, be nicer to people, find the guts to apply for his dream job and so on. Don't you just love New Year's resolutions? For a couple of hours at New Year's Eve you actually believe that you will do all those perfectly plausible things -although you've been too much of a slob to do them these past years - and this year you will turn your life around.

Fast forward to New Year's Day. You wake up without having digested what you ingested the night before, you're so hungover that everything on your body aches, and guess what? Holy shit, IT'S THE NEW YEAR. Remember that? 2011? You know, the year you would change, improve and feed the orphans? You remember alright, but everything you said you'd do over fine wine and turkey the night before, right now is being postponed. And it will keep being postponed for the next 12 months. Sad, isn't it?

Well, dear procrastinating, postponing slob, the only thing sad is you! (Yes, I'm talking to myself again). Instead of dwelling in your bullshit, your so called "busy schedule" and the reasons not to do things, why don't you for once get off your ass and DO THEM?

Do things that make you happy, do things you love, do things you never thought you would do, change the things you don't like. The important thing is doing something. Being active, and trying new awesome things, and changing old, annoying ones.

Just think... there's an entire new year ahead of you! 12 months, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes and 31,536,000 seconds of a completely clean slate.

And if you don't do anything new, noteworthy, amazing, insane, deranged or messed up with it, then face it: You're a complete pussy.

Happy New Year!

x

PS: if you're out of ideas, try this New Year's Resolution Generator. Press the Gimme More button until you find the coolest, most extravagant thing there. And then do it for fuck's sake! What have you got to lose?

The art of being a complete amateur

am·a·teur

 [am-uh-choor, -cher, -ter, am-uh-tur]-noun1. a person who engages in a study, sport or other activity for pleasure rather than for financial benefit or professional reasons.2. a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity: Hunting lions is not for amateurs

Disagreeing with the example on the second definition, given that I often engage in amateur lion-hunting, I'm here to discuss the subtle art of being a complete amateur, and if one wishes to take it to the next level, the subtle art of being really bad at something.

In life, there are things at which you are good, whether that be a sport, an art or some freakish physical ability like twisting your thumb, and then there are other things; things at which you are complete shit. Not necessarily things you don't like; but rather things you enjoy doing but you're a total novice at. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. Yes, even the extraterrestrial overachiever that everyone went to high school with, the one with the 500 extracurriculars, the perfect grades, and the kick-ass clarinet playing skills (or some similar shit).

Well today, I'm here to praise all amateurs who've made complete fools of themselves while trying something. Yes, WE SUCK at it. But who gives a fuck? We're gonna keep doing it because we like it. And any perfectionist freak who has a problem with that can shove his/her sparkly awards in an area I will refrain from naming (because after all, I'm a lady).

Everyone has something that they do well, great -hell, even awesome- and being proud of your skills and talents is something no one should ever take away from you. But I say, be proud of your shortcomings, and elevate your sucking into an art form! Keep doing the things you love or like and stop giving a fuck what people have to say about it. In the end, your faults make up a large part of who you are. Being an amateur is great - there are no expectations or weight placed upon your shoulders - and after all, you might even surprise yourself!

PS: Yeah, this means that I will continue playing racing video games (including Mario Kart). I can proudly announce that I've been sucking at them since 1998. Hell yeah!