We all judge people. It’s one of the ways we use to make sense of the world and others, I guess. Typecasting them, stereotyping them, judging the things they say, do or wear. Anyone who proclaims to have never judged anyone is a liar. Unless you’re Gandhi, at some point in your life you judged. It can be argued that judging someone is some sort of a healthy outlet of one’s fear of the unknown, jealousy or general feeling of uneasiness. It can even be a link between you and someone else. And besides, it’s fun to sit on a pedestal and point the finger at people, since it makes you forget about the things you’ve done wrong. The things you do that deserve or might lead to you being judged.
I struggled with the whole concept of judging for a while. I certainly have done it, and I bet other people have most certainly judged me. And what I came to realize is that in essence, it’s not a healthy outlet. Not by a long shot. It’s just one more of the things in one’s life that only bring about negativity, and I don’t just mean towards others, but towards us too. In reality, while judging others might give us an endorphin fix for a couple of seconds’ time, in the long run it just makes us feel shitty. Not because of remorse, but because we’ve filled ourselves up with negativity, whininess and vindictiveness. Truth be told, judging is a pointless and vapid pastime that only drains us. If someone is so annoying, unlikable and mean he shouldn’t be judged, because through judging he is awarded a huge chunk of attention that he doesn’t deserve. Flat out don’t include him in your thoughts and conversations; it only drains you of energy and good humor. And as for the people one holds dear and loves; well, they should never be judged. Even when we might not agree with what they do, even when they’ve got it wrong, even when they’ve pissed you off so bad that you fantasize about them fed to piranhas – you don’t judge the people you love. You support them, help them, and warn them. Hell, you just love them no matter what shit they pull (as long as they’re not serial killers or something). They’ll do the same for you, that’s what they’re there for.
We’re just human, and oftentimes we fall into patterns which we might not necessarily like, say things we don’t mean and do things we wish we hadn’t done. What I’d like though is to take all the redundant judging out of my life. It’s useless. Hell, it doesn’t even make me feel good. And as for being judged by someone; ignore it. Don’t even give it the time of day – don’t even let it bother you. If someone cannot accept you, love you and appreciate you the way you are or if you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around someone because you’re afraid you might be judged, then the hell with him. He can go whine somewhere else.
Why don’t we just keep the things that make us feel good and discard the ones that drain us? How’s that for a suggestion?
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